WELLNISH
Wellness culture gets playfully skewered with limited-edition “home goods for your happy place.” Each piece—like a bag of emotional-support animal fur or dishware that never looks clean—turns everyday objects into joy-sparking reminders of the absurdity of quick-fix self-care. A satirical lifestyle brand that helps people feel seen in their search for serenity. Because sometimes the cure for just about everything is laughter. GETWELLNISH.COM
CREDIT: CO-CREATOR/CREATIVE DIRECTOR AND COPYWRITER
SUPPORT ANIMAL FUR. If you’re looking for the emotional support animal experience without all the fuss, we’ve got you covered. No feeding, walking, or training necessary. Available in white, brown, and black to suit any occasion. Guaranteed to last pretty much forever.
OCD DISHWARE. Does the sight of dirty dishes drive your monkey mind bananas? Not anymore! With dishware designed to look and stay dirty – even when they’re spotless – you can learn to be at peace with dirty, so your mind can rest clean. Made from genuine leftovers printed on BPA plastic. May cause plate-licking.
WEIGHTED PILLOW. Goodnight anxiety. Now you can sleep like a rock cuddling our chunkiest, heavyweight pillow. Thoughtfully designed for everyone who bought into the weighted blanket trend. And single people. Made from 189 pounds of organic cement.
MYLAR FEELINGS BALLOON. Do you suffer from emotional unavailability, botox paralysis, or just have that face? Thanks to the latest in balloon technology, showing the world how you really feel is easier than ever. Now you can go from happy to upset to sad with the single push of a pin.
LUXURY BOX LUGGAGE SET. Ship yourself to remote destinations and escape all your worries with a set of luxury box luggage. Includes a suitcase, duffel, and carry-on made from stylish vegan leather for that faux cardboard look. Non-recyclable.
WHOOPIE CUSHION OTTOMAN. Long pauses in serious conversations are awkward. Instead of holding it in, let it out and lighten the mood of any room with the sound of laughter. Designed by dads for dads and boys under 12. Pfft.